It should come as no surprise that public educators today present an over-simplified Thanksgiving story of white man’s greed. With God and Church removed from the discussion, the story of the Pilgrims becomes nothing more than the story of an unjustified land grab.

With the elimination from the classroom of objective truth, and the lack of oversight from informed parents, I believe this is an excellent time to be an unconscionably fantastic (as in fantasy) teacher in the public school system. It’s a great time to teach, as does Professor Toni Morrison, that Bill Clinton was America’s first black president. It’s a wonderful time to teach the theory of evolution without the word “theory”. Unscrupulous teachers should take advantage of the opportunity to teach the success of communism over capitalism; the wisdom of Tolerance versus the parochialism of Christianity.

To objective, thinking teachers/professors, I present the following challenge. Post this version of Thanksgiving next year in your classroom, in an email to students, or within a school website, and see if any students or parents question the historicity of the account.

The Pilgrims were an intolerant, wealthy, racist religious sect who persecuted the diverse poor peoples of Europe. Having achieved their objective in Europe--to imprison, torture, and steal from the continent’s socially disadvantaged--the Pilgrims sought to transfer their myopic religion to the New World (Plymouth Rock)—and replenish their bank accounts in the process.

Once arrived, the Pilgrims encountered Native Americans, exchangers of fantasy for Truth, and unified as one body politic throughout North America. The Native Americans were a peace-loving, vegetarian society who never hurt one another, nor members of other tribes, nor even the smallest of animals.

The Pilgrims refused all dialogue with Native Americans. Conversely, without warning, they stole the rich farmland of the Native Americans, their spices, cattle, and oil rights -- all things they would never have been able to gain via peaceful methods. Though they were small in number, and beset by disease and famine, the Pilgrims were somehow able to overtake the Native Americans with business trickery, poison whiskey, and military assaults. Limited in scope in terms of geography and natural resources, North America presented the Pilgrims with little alternative but to wage terrorist-type war on the unsuspecting Native Americans.

Once the Pilgrims conquered the Native Americans, they opened banks, formed the Republican Party, and gave thanks to one another. They called the day Thanksgiving.

My prediction, sadly, is that you, independent thinking teacher, will receive little feedback at all from students or parents. Let me know if you do. You’re welcome to email student/parent responses to grandview45@yahoo.com.